There’s something that I’m starting to realize about college and about Fsu’s dance program specifically that I wasn’t totally aware about in high school. In college you have so much power and opportunities are literally endless. I also feel like I’m finally starting to really understand the phrase “just do it, you’ll never know if you don’t try” a lot more in this program. Yes with power and all this new exciting stuff comes responsibility but it’s crazy how much freedom also comes with having all these things. At some points it is, in some ways, a bit overwhelming but that’s how we grow I guess, we gotta be put in challenging situations. Anyway how this relates to what we’ve been talking about in intro to dance profession class is that I think you, Loren, have been showing me this whole new way of thinking. The whole dance program has but I think you really emphasize it in class and it’s like I’ve had a very mini epiphany. You can do and be anything you want if you just set your mind to it and yeah that sounds a little tiny bit cliche but literally if you think it, you got it. A lot in high school I tended to think lowly of myself as a dancer and an artist, I would constantly compare myself to others and I haven’t stopped that completely because that’s not going to happen over night but I think a lot of we’re doing in class and even outside of class has started to change something in me. You’ve made me realize that I am equally worthy as any other dancer in this program to be successful and to thrive artistically. In high school it just felt different, I always felt like I was being reprimanded and rarely encouraged to be curious and encouraged to seek new ways to move and new ways to discover myself as an artist. It’s just nice knowing that this program is very supportive even if I feel like everything around me in my life is crazy, when I walk into the dance building I can let go just a bit and let a calmness come over me.
I feel like I’ve struggled a lot as a dancer with my confidence, I never feel like I’m good enough and yes even though I’m certainly not the best in anyway I think my self esteem is slowly but surely getting there. It’s kind of bizarre blogging about this because I’m not used to throwing this topic out there so easily but I feel like it’s something that I’m really trying to work on and I think in some ways your class is helping a lot, so thank you for that.
In closing, I’m just over here buzzing a little bit with excitement for the future and for all the opportunities and experiences to be had around me at this school. :)))